I’ve been trying to come up with the proper words for a fatherhood post. There are things I would like to say about it, but at the same time I am a fairly private person and don’t wish to have everyone that reads this know exactly how I feel. So I will be brief. If all this gushiness confuses you and you don’t know what this project is about, go here.
It is amazing how you know that something is coming because you wait 40 weeks for it, but then that thing is here and it is a person. An actual person is suddenly there, and that person has been growing for a while but you can’t fathom that because it hasn’t actually been there in front of you. Something from nothing that you just immediately love. And how do you love this person, so intensely, right away when it normally takes so much time to learn to love someone? Then you think that this was perfect genetic timing because if she had been created at any other time it wouldn’t be this exact person that you already love so much even though you haven’t known her for more than a day. And could you even imagine life, even after mere minutes, without this exact human being a part of your life? Life is incredibly fickle, but at moments such as child birth it can be perfect. And that is all I have to write about that.
When thinking of a song that my mother and I could dance to at my wedding, this song was always near the top of my choices. I’ve interpreted the lyrics to be that of a parent singing to his/her child in an effort to smooth over a rough patch because of something bad that has transpired. I know firsthand, and I’m sure nearly everyone does, that to child events that matter little in the long run can be devastating in the present. I envision myself being the type of parent who will always want my children to know that things can and will get better. Not to shield them from everything and prevent the bad, though I will try my darnedest, but to try to accentuate the positive and that things will always change and get better. If your parents can’t do that for you, who will?
“There isn’t much that I feel I need
A solid soul and the blood I bleed
But with a little girl, and by my spouse,
I only want a proper house”
Perhaps it’s early for this particular song to be included in this project, but I don’t believe so. I had this song on repeat way back at the beginning of the year even before I knew my wife was pregnant. Once I found out she was with child, the song took on a completely different meaning for me. Then, when I found out two weeks ago that it was actually a girl that had been hiding in there for so long, this song became indispensable. I fucking love it. It says the things you can’t imagine not feeling as a father.